Military Standards
by Umbrella Doves
Summary: When SG-1 finds a strange tablet on a planet that speaks of a device with great power, they are thrown into an adventure of a lifetime involving a certain museum and its inhabitants. Rated T for safety. Gen!fic.
1. Ch 1: Research

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or Night at the Museum, sadly.**

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"Jack, you'd better come look at this," Daniel turned toward the older man from his perch at his all-too cluttered desk. His computer was turned on in front of him, displaying a blindingly colorful webpage decorated with various photos.

"What is it now, Daniel?" Colonel O'Neill questioned exasperatedly as the pencil that had previously been balanced on his nose fell to the floor with a clatter. He was sitting in a swivel chair across the room, his feet resting on a small side table nearby. In fact, he had been seated in the exact same place for hours now, having had nothing else to do. And he was still incredibly bored, as Daniel was not the most exciting person. Who knew?

"Remember that writing I translated on P3X-781?" Daniel turned toward his computer once again, carefully observing the contents of the webpage.

"Maybe."

Daniel rose an eyebrow and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Glancing at the military officer, he mustered up the sternest look he could manage. "Jack."

"Refresh my memory, will you, Daniel? If that's not too much to ask."

Daniel rolled his eyes, then frowned. "Fine. But you have to promise me you won't forget this time."

"Yeah, whatever."

Daniel shook his head, then looked back at the computer screen. "We found a golden tablet on the planet. It was covered in Go'auld writing, and once I translated it, the tablet spoke of an ancient device with great power, capable of—"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember now. Get to the point." Colonel O'Neill adjusted his position on his chair. His left leg had fallen asleep.

"Well, I did some research." Daniel paused dramatically, taking the time to turn around again and look the Colonel straight in the eye.

"Get on with it, Daniel. They're not paying you for nothing."

Daniel scrunched his eyebrows together, then continued, "the device—or the other tablet, I should say—is on display in the Museum of Natural History in New York City."

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**A/N: Dun dun dun…**

**I know it's not much yet, but the next chapter should be done quite soon. I'd say a day or so.**

**Stay tuned!**


	2. Ch 2: Study

"You know, it looks like just another Egyptian artifact," Sam observed, leaning over the gleaming tablet just enough so that she could see it clearly without touching it. SG-1 may be military, but they still had to abide by the museum's rules without the proper permission. "It honestly doesn't look usable at all- but we've been fooled before, so I'd have to study it a little longer in order to be sure."

"Then study it a little longer. Actually, study it as long as your little heart desires. We've got until closing hours. Have fun!" Colonel O'Neill exclaimed with false cheer whilst finding a relatively comfortable place to sit on the hard tiled floor. It looked as if they would be here for a while. Knowing Carter, they could remain in this room for days before she was satisfied. Unfortunately, they didn't have as much time as she'd like; SG-1's absence from the base was taking a toll on the natural order of off-world missions.

Sam looked away, abashed.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said, fingering her notebook, "but I'd have to study it in a lab to perform the necessary tests." When she finally turned toward the Colonel, Sam wore an expression of mixed hope and intense doubt.

"Carter, you know we can't do that," Jack, unable to find an adequate spot, sighed and stood up again, much to his dismay.

Sam's face fell and she stepped away from the artifact resignedly.

"I know, sir. But it doesn't hurt for a girl to hope, does it?" She smiled sheepishly, drumming her fingers on her thighs.

O'Neill ran a hand through his graying hair, staring hard at the tablet and thinking.

"I'll speak to General Hammond and see what I can do. In the mean time: Daniel, you wouldn't mind translating the symbol-thingies on the tablet, would you?"

The linguist rolled his eyes. "First of all, they're called hieroglyphics. And of course."

Daniel edged quickly around Teal'c, who had remained stoic throughout the entire conversation, to reach the tablet and begin translating.

It was a good five minutes of quiet muttering and note-scribbling later that Daniel finally produced some results; in the meantime, Colonel O'Neill had struck up a conversation with Sam about the disgusting nature of the Go'auld, in which Carter was reluctantly quiet throughout.

Daniel adjusted his glasses and turned toward the other three, clapping his hands together.

"Alright. From what I can tell, each of these tiles is a number, from one to nine. The tablet looks like a number pad of sorts, like one you would find on a common garage door opening-system or other password lock. But what it actually does, I haven't the faintest clue."

"Well, that was helpful," Colonel O'Neill muttered under his breath, voice dripping with sarcasm. "It took you that long to read a bunch of numbers?"

Daniel frowned. At the same time, Teal'c rose a thin eyebrow, arms folded behind his back.

"On the contrary, Colonel O'Neill, I believe Daniel Jackson's discovery was of very little use at all."

"Gee, thanks, Teal'c," Daniel covered his face with his hand, sighing. "Well, that's all I got out of it. Unless we get General Hammond's permission to examine it further, this will probably have been a huge waste of time."

"I told you, I'll see if I can get through to him. Now let's go, I'm starving," Colonel O'Neill gestured to the door, anxious to leave. The other three filed out of the room, Daniel still frowning, Sam looking disappointed, and Teal'c showing no emotion as usual.

As the group of strange passerby left the museum, a certain night guard coming up the front stairs stopped to glance at them. Bewildered, he shook off the odd feeling he had in the pit of his stomach a moment later and continued in to complete his duties for the night.

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**A/N: Another short chapter, and we still haven't met our favorite Night at the Museum characters. D:  
**

**Oh well.**

**Anyway, I'll probably be updating in short chapters from now on; it's just easier for me than writing something long and not being able to post it for a while.**

**Comments and constructive critisicm are very much appreciated!  
**


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